I just need to write this down to help myself process all this chaos and violence. The countless shootings of black citizens, the terrorist inspired shooting at the Orlando gay night club slaughtering 50 lives, and now a group of at least four people going to a peaceful protest about the officer killing black men the last two days, and shooting 11 officers and killing four... I don't know the answer and there isn't one single answer or idea or action that will fix this. But things need to change. We need to show we care for eachother everyday not just on the days people may need it. I have never understood how people can be pushed to violent actions and nor do I want to but we have to right now. We have to have a dialogue between those that are frustrated and those that are causing frustration. Neither side thinks they are at fault and maybe they are both right but I need to believe that with more communication and understanding from both parties their can be some progress in helping us get rid of bigotry, or racism, or paranoia, or what ever it is that may cause all this violence and death. Perhaps more community outreach programs for officers, maybe better training, or a taser gun approach first with a police partner would help. I just dont know. But things are NOT getting better with our current approach of changing nothing. I heard during the Dallas sniper debats that people had not liked the militarizatin of officers with higher powered guns and if the officers had those higher powered guns then they could have stopped the shooter quicker because they would have pierced the armour they assume he was wearing. I feel like that is just responding to a problem and not adressing the root of the real problem which is; why are we allowing the selling of these high powered guns, semi automatic rifles and miltary grade weapons to the public in the first place??? Just cut the suppply of these high powered guns and we wouldnt need officers to step up their weapons power to begin with. At least not to an even high level then what the commentator suggested. I was going to write the next part of this on Facebook but I chose not to because I honesty dont know enough information or have any sort of response other than trying to self process this so i decided to write in here in this blog.
I have no real words right now of whats been going on. Im trying to process this as we all are. I've never felt this kind of frustation, helplessness, sadness, or call for unity. There isn't a single solution or single idea or single action that will solve these recent types of horrors. The world we create isn't made by one swift movement. It was made brick by brick. Sometime you place them yourself and some times people place it for you. If you want to make it a better, safer, peaceful, fair, inclusive, and beautifully diverse world, start laying down more of those bricks and take action to make it a reality. I woke up to news alerts of 50 dead in an Orlando gay club, I saw the video of the officer shooting the man on the floor face down, I heard the eye witness account of the shooter in Dallas killing 4 officers and have seen the video, I felt chills as the officer informed they are not confident they have all suspects accounted for and that there is a possibility of bombs in downtown Dallas. The only connection I see, whether you agree with it or not, is that guns were involved. Some types of guns should not be sold to citizens' hands and officers need to be trained in a way were thier first response isn't to slam a person down and pull out their pistol.
I have nothing else to say other than these are all someone's kids, mom, dad, sister, or brother. They each had a world they were building and you dont know how many bricks they were able to laydown for themselves. Don't judge someone based on what you expect them to build with their bricks, because the moment you are judging them is ths same moment you let someone else laydown a brick of bigotry or racism or hate in your world. You saw that same behavior somewhere else or let a couple of negative events of people cement that brick in your world. We get to choose which bricks we want to keep to build our world, please choose to keep the positive ones that will make you and the world around us better...
Thursday, July 7, 2016
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Failure and Sculpting Individuality
We are destined to fail. As we grow up we become more knowledgeable of worldly events that only remind us how small of an impact we personally have in our universe. We learn more and more about people who have accomplished so much more in their lives and become a sort of ideal or blueprint to how we wish to lead our lives. The moment we have ideals, heroes, or idols we look up to and wish to one day be as great as they are, we will begin to carve a road of failure. This, however, is not a bad thing. Each and every one of us are different, with different concerns, levels of appreciation, how we go about getting things done, and which people or ideals we admire. This will then begin a process of becoming unique individuals from anyone else. For example, I will always look up to people such as John Wooden and Jack Daniels for their coaching pedagogy. My chances of becoming as successful as them or handling things just like them will be extremely slim to none. This is why I stated we are destined to fail. We are our own biggest critique and no matter how much other people tell us we have succeed, we have built up our ideals and heroes in our mind so high that we can never possibly amount to them.
This is what the greatest and most successful people do. They battle through knowing they have not achieved their dream and begin to sculpt their own individuality. By this I mean that although I may never coach Olympic level runners or coach teams to ten National Championships, I will sculpt my own path that demonstrates my unique individuality and ultimately show true creation. We must never be afraid of falling short of our ideals and heroes, we must only battle through and come to the realization that becoming ourselves is the single best accomplishment we will achieve and failing while chasing your ideals is never a failure at all.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Success and Contentment
Many people go their entire lives not knowing if they have succeeded in anything they have tried. For most people, success is accomplishing the goal they set out to do such as getting a job, running a certain time, getting promoted, helping others or finally buying their own home. These are all great goals to have, but what happens once you've reach that goal? Do you become happy? Is everything else meaningless or suddenly easier? What now once you have achieved your goal?
This topic was brought up over and over again through various readings I have done such as in John Wooden's "Pyramid of Success" book and Anthony Famiglietti's blog posting on Flotrack titled Contentment. Personally I have adapted both philosophies and created a sort of blended definition of success and content that become interchangeable at certain points. John Wooden is one of the greatest coaches of all time and has easily changed the lives of millions of people through his teachings and approach to coaching. Not only did he accomplish great things as a coach but also as a philanthropist by giving back to those in need and helping whenever approached. Anthony Famiglietti is a 2 time US Olympic runner and a highly talented competitive track runner. In fact I had the opportunity to meet with him and talk for a couple minutes after one of his best 5k races. I was a mere high school student at the time but even then I can tell he was someone different. He kept himself very composed and spoke very intelligently. It only took a couple of minutes for him to become one of my favorite runners and three years later I would read his blogs on flotrack.org and become even more of a fan.
John Wooden and Anthony Famiglietti are two completely different personalities. Wooden was more of a quiet and humble man while 'Fam' is a very charismatic and energetic individual, but yet they both shared something in common. They both strive to be as successful as they can be. John Wooden's famous meaning of success is "piece of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." Success is then therefor not a result such as buying your dream house or getting promoted, but the act of trying your best and giving it your all which then becomes your character. We live in a society that measures success, value, or self-worth by seeing how much square feet a person lives on, how much money they make a year, what high tech cell phone they use or cars they drive in. However, when we decided to reject that thought process and choose to view success or self-worth as the act of hard work and effort we will surely find piece of mind and content within ourselves.
Contentment is almost the opposite of what success is. But yet I managed to sneak the word into the last sentence. Content means ease of mind as much as it does to accepting the circumstances as they are and being satisfied with them. This is not what success comes from. Success is not letting oneself accept the circumstances as they are. Success should be giving every possible effort to change circumstances for the better. This is where Anthony Famiglietti's blog comes in. He describes the life of a competitor or dreamers as constantly fighting the feeling of success and contentment. One can never achieve their greatest potential if one becomes content with the first feelings of success in their path. That is why content and success must have a constant battle so that one will strive to become the best that they are capable of becoming.
Should we ever stop ourselves from becoming the best? Or maybe one would ask why should we work hard to become the best if we have no idea when we become our best? This only reminds me of the question asked to George Mallroy, "Why do you want to climb Mt. Everest?" which he then simply answered, "Because it is there." The point I am trying to make is that why should we settle and become content with what we have accomplished. Why should we not get as close to our greatest potential possible? Or in the words of Anthony Famiglietti, "I've felt contentment and I've achieved big goals, but now I just want to see what I'm made of."
Perhaps what this society has focused so much on is what others think of their personal success or achievements. Those are mere awards, certificates, or diplomas that really have no value until people give them importance. If we continue to look for rewards or plaques to justify hard work, when will we learn to become humble men? When will we be able to be proud of ourselves without the constant seek of approval and acknowledgement from others? These are the boundaries that must first be broken to truly feel piece of mind and success at its finest. We must be able to find ourselves and know what we want from life before we chase our dreams and goals. We must never lose who we are through the long journey of life and understand we are still capable of so much more.
This topic was brought up over and over again through various readings I have done such as in John Wooden's "Pyramid of Success" book and Anthony Famiglietti's blog posting on Flotrack titled Contentment. Personally I have adapted both philosophies and created a sort of blended definition of success and content that become interchangeable at certain points. John Wooden is one of the greatest coaches of all time and has easily changed the lives of millions of people through his teachings and approach to coaching. Not only did he accomplish great things as a coach but also as a philanthropist by giving back to those in need and helping whenever approached. Anthony Famiglietti is a 2 time US Olympic runner and a highly talented competitive track runner. In fact I had the opportunity to meet with him and talk for a couple minutes after one of his best 5k races. I was a mere high school student at the time but even then I can tell he was someone different. He kept himself very composed and spoke very intelligently. It only took a couple of minutes for him to become one of my favorite runners and three years later I would read his blogs on flotrack.org and become even more of a fan.
John Wooden and Anthony Famiglietti are two completely different personalities. Wooden was more of a quiet and humble man while 'Fam' is a very charismatic and energetic individual, but yet they both shared something in common. They both strive to be as successful as they can be. John Wooden's famous meaning of success is "piece of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." Success is then therefor not a result such as buying your dream house or getting promoted, but the act of trying your best and giving it your all which then becomes your character. We live in a society that measures success, value, or self-worth by seeing how much square feet a person lives on, how much money they make a year, what high tech cell phone they use or cars they drive in. However, when we decided to reject that thought process and choose to view success or self-worth as the act of hard work and effort we will surely find piece of mind and content within ourselves.
John Wooden
Anthony Famiglietti
Contentment is almost the opposite of what success is. But yet I managed to sneak the word into the last sentence. Content means ease of mind as much as it does to accepting the circumstances as they are and being satisfied with them. This is not what success comes from. Success is not letting oneself accept the circumstances as they are. Success should be giving every possible effort to change circumstances for the better. This is where Anthony Famiglietti's blog comes in. He describes the life of a competitor or dreamers as constantly fighting the feeling of success and contentment. One can never achieve their greatest potential if one becomes content with the first feelings of success in their path. That is why content and success must have a constant battle so that one will strive to become the best that they are capable of becoming.
Should we ever stop ourselves from becoming the best? Or maybe one would ask why should we work hard to become the best if we have no idea when we become our best? This only reminds me of the question asked to George Mallroy, "Why do you want to climb Mt. Everest?" which he then simply answered, "Because it is there." The point I am trying to make is that why should we settle and become content with what we have accomplished. Why should we not get as close to our greatest potential possible? Or in the words of Anthony Famiglietti, "I've felt contentment and I've achieved big goals, but now I just want to see what I'm made of."
Perhaps what this society has focused so much on is what others think of their personal success or achievements. Those are mere awards, certificates, or diplomas that really have no value until people give them importance. If we continue to look for rewards or plaques to justify hard work, when will we learn to become humble men? When will we be able to be proud of ourselves without the constant seek of approval and acknowledgement from others? These are the boundaries that must first be broken to truly feel piece of mind and success at its finest. We must be able to find ourselves and know what we want from life before we chase our dreams and goals. We must never lose who we are through the long journey of life and understand we are still capable of so much more.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Know Who You Are
Knowing who you are is often hard to describe. How do you describe who you are or who you have been your entire life? Many people say that who you are is determined by the actions you make. I don't completely agree with this because this states that you are only someone until you do something or take action which is usually the result of another action. Who I am is as reliant on what I have experienced, what I have done, and who my family is. I do not have to take action for people around me to know I am of Hispanic decent. We live in a society that has focused on how people look whether it be race, clothes, weight, class, or looks. If you ever find yourself convinced that who you are is based on the last four I listed, there needs to be a radical change of values in your life.
I purposefully excluded race because I believe regardless if you are deeply connected to your race or not, you must always find a sense of pride in your family roots. I say this because no matter where you may be you can always find comfort in family. Your family are who they are because of values passed on from generation to generation in their race and culture. I am of Mexican decent and although I may not speak Spanish fluently any longer, I take pride in knowing I have a rich family background in Mexican history and culture.
Aside from this I believe that who we are is determined by two main things: what we want out of our lives, and how we go about getting that. I am aware that this is very general but please think this through with me. Any person can say they want to be successful, rich, or have a loving family, but it does not stop there. You can either work hard for it, be a honest person, accept help and get through life fair while doing your best; or you can whine, cheat, lie, expect things to be given to you and never get what you wanted in life. However in order to know what you want in life there needs to be one more major revelation in life.
You must know what it feels like to fail OR find the passion in your life that will reveal who you are.
This may sound like the cliche for success; You will never know how it feels to succeed until you know what it feels like to fail, but I do believe that from personal failure a spark is ignited within those to work harder for what they want. There are countless movies based on the lives of successful people who fought through failure. One relatively recent movie was of the life Chris Gardner who was a struggling salesman. He eventually had no money and lived on the streets with his son going from public restroom, to homeless shelter, to motels as he was working as an intern for a very competitive company. You may know what movie I am talking about now and know that Chris Gardner eventually won the intern position and began working at the company. He eventually became CEO of his own stock-brokerage firm and is a multi-millionaire. This is the type of stories that do in fact go on every single day. It may not end up being a blockbuster movie, but every one of us faces a battle that knocks us down to our knees and challenges us to figure out how to raise above it all. This is often where passion is also found. The passion we have to live, work, or change our life is what makes raising from our failure reveal who we are. We all make small and often meaningless decisions in life such as what to wear, what to buy, and what to watch; but the decisions that more than anything reveals our character is showing how much we care to pursue our passion. Our ability to care is what often defines what friends we make, what friends we keep, what career we choose, how we treat your family, how we view our past, how hard we work, and how much patience we have to keep trying.
Who we are is not looking in the mirror and describing our physical attributes or style. Who we are becomes what we refuse to let go through the tight grip of passion our body radiates. The challenge is withstanding the journey to find our passion and be ready to crawl back up from failure.
I purposefully excluded race because I believe regardless if you are deeply connected to your race or not, you must always find a sense of pride in your family roots. I say this because no matter where you may be you can always find comfort in family. Your family are who they are because of values passed on from generation to generation in their race and culture. I am of Mexican decent and although I may not speak Spanish fluently any longer, I take pride in knowing I have a rich family background in Mexican history and culture.
Aside from this I believe that who we are is determined by two main things: what we want out of our lives, and how we go about getting that. I am aware that this is very general but please think this through with me. Any person can say they want to be successful, rich, or have a loving family, but it does not stop there. You can either work hard for it, be a honest person, accept help and get through life fair while doing your best; or you can whine, cheat, lie, expect things to be given to you and never get what you wanted in life. However in order to know what you want in life there needs to be one more major revelation in life.
You must know what it feels like to fail OR find the passion in your life that will reveal who you are.
This may sound like the cliche for success; You will never know how it feels to succeed until you know what it feels like to fail, but I do believe that from personal failure a spark is ignited within those to work harder for what they want. There are countless movies based on the lives of successful people who fought through failure. One relatively recent movie was of the life Chris Gardner who was a struggling salesman. He eventually had no money and lived on the streets with his son going from public restroom, to homeless shelter, to motels as he was working as an intern for a very competitive company. You may know what movie I am talking about now and know that Chris Gardner eventually won the intern position and began working at the company. He eventually became CEO of his own stock-brokerage firm and is a multi-millionaire. This is the type of stories that do in fact go on every single day. It may not end up being a blockbuster movie, but every one of us faces a battle that knocks us down to our knees and challenges us to figure out how to raise above it all. This is often where passion is also found. The passion we have to live, work, or change our life is what makes raising from our failure reveal who we are. We all make small and often meaningless decisions in life such as what to wear, what to buy, and what to watch; but the decisions that more than anything reveals our character is showing how much we care to pursue our passion. Our ability to care is what often defines what friends we make, what friends we keep, what career we choose, how we treat your family, how we view our past, how hard we work, and how much patience we have to keep trying.
Who we are is not looking in the mirror and describing our physical attributes or style. Who we are becomes what we refuse to let go through the tight grip of passion our body radiates. The challenge is withstanding the journey to find our passion and be ready to crawl back up from failure.
Friday, May 27, 2011
The Beginnings
Now that you know a little something about my athletic background, it is only fair to reveal my academic background. Before I get too far into that I think I need to re-stress just how important and evolutionary that one year in the Cross Country/Track & Field Team was too me.
I had always been an active child, running around, playing basketball, throwing a baseball around, or in other words I was the skinny kid that was able to do what was considered athletic skills. There is even a video of a 5 year old me running as fast as I possibly can down a hill without tripping and beating my older brother. I remember in 4th grade challenging my friends to sprint to one base and back, and two years later in 6th grade being tested for the mile run getting a 6:36 time that gave me a B+ only 6 seconds from an A which I could have easily gotten if I had not stopped to tie my shoe lace. But none of these previous events challenged me the way joining that running team did. It focused my inner strength and molded my talents so that I can be what I was capable of. That single year lit an ember inside me that caught fire and still burns bright and hot to this day. This passion to run, stay physically active, and to coach one day is because of that one magical year that ended 5 years ago. Everything fell into place perfectly: the decision to attend the first day, the jealousy, the first mistake in my first race, the hip injury, my team calling on me at the end, and my pact with Wilson to go out with a BANG our last year in Track. I still talk to almost everyone on that team to this date because it continues to be one of the most important endings in my life which led to one of the most exciting beginnings as an aspiring coach.
Academically the story is filled with more downs then ups. Today I am 3 weeks away from graduating from Cal Poly Pomona University. But if you asked me 6 years ago what I was going to do with my life I would not be describing a bright future as a college graduate.
During elementary school I was jinxed with one bad teacher after another with kindergarten being the exception. The challenge in Kindergarten was that I was a English Language Learner. I was at a home with Spanish speaking parents put into a classroom with lessons and activities in English. During my second year I remember constantly being called a "Slowpoke" by the teacher because I never finished my work fast enough and felt embarrassed and helpless. Then, my 3rd grade teacher would literally just sit in her chair and ask a student to give her a massage as she talked about her own problems. She would later quit or retire and we had a substitute teacher for the rest of the year. On the very first day of my 4th grade class I sat at the front of the rug with my legs crossed and as the teacher walked by she tripped on my shoe and immediately said "How dare you! Did you just try and trip me?" I was so shocked and scared I just shook my head and said nothing. Later that year my mom would come in and the teacher would explain that I was distracted to easily and would wonder the class room. 5th grade I was put into a pretty good class with decent teachers but I had already fallen far behind the previous 4 years that I had to cheat during spelling tests and settle for the minimum.
After I graduated Elementary I was excited to go to Irving Middle School with all my friends. But I had no idea just how the teachers would be there. 6th grade was probably my worst experience academically. my 1st, 2nd, and 4th period teacher was the same man. He was a complete ass hole. If you asked me then I would have said it and if you ask me today I will say it again. That is not to say that I was a perfect student or even average student. I was a flat out bad D-F grade student. I was the class clown, joke, and funny guy. I would constantly cause people to laugh and disturb the class. He would stare me down, yell at me, and give me automatic zero's in class work. One moment I remember perfectly to this day was when we had to line up outside to go to an assembly. We all went and waited and I was talking loud, out of line, and having fun when suddenly he came right next to me and yelled inches away from my ear. If I had not hated him before then I definitely hated him now. After he was done yelling, being the smart ass punk rebel kid I was I said, "You know I can sue you for that." Thinking back now I think I definitely should have. I was too scared to tell my parents that he did that because they would say I caused it. But really, he could and should have been fired for something like that. So as you can tell I had slowly been shaped into a school hating student taught nothing more than how to lie to my parents and how to do just enough to pass.
Well my mom being the good caring parent she was, saw this happening and switched schools after 6th grade. Also what I failed to mention was how after 3rd grade I had been taking Summer School to catch up or make up grades after falling behind. My mother knew it was best to waste 3 months of summer instead of one year of school but it would also add to me hating school and looking at it as a punishment.
So 7th grade was going to be completely different. It was at Toll Middle School in Glendale and I knew absolutely no one from their. Actually that was a lie, I knew one friend from my boy scout group but he would not be in any of my classes. My first week in 7th grade was very intimidating. I had no one to talk to, no one to tell jokes, no one to have lunch with, and no where to play. However, it did not last, one guy would ask me where I was from and that just let me become more and more comfortable to be the joker I was.
However, something else also happened. During the first week of 7th grade I was classified as an English Second Language learner and put in remedial English. I automatically felt strange, like I had already failed being an average 7th grade student. Why and how was I placed here? After that week I began seeing it as a good thing. Man this work is easy! I can get an A here easily. I turned in our first assignment and the next day the teacher pulled me aside. "Did you cheat?" she said to me. "What? No. I didn't cheat. What do you mean?" I replied. She asked "Did anyone help you write this?" I said, "No I wrote it by myself." She then asked, "You used the word 'whom'. Do you know what that means?" I told her, "Ya it is the proper way of saying 'who', like when a butler answers the phone and says, 'Whom would you like to speak to?'" She looked at me and said "Okay. You can go back inside."
Little did I know that that single word would change the rest of my life. You see, the next day I got a new class schedule that placed me in regular English classes. If I had not written 'whom' on my paper I could have stayed in remedial English for that year, and the year after that, and probably all the way up to High School where I would have never had a fighting chance to be accepted into a University or take regular English.
So 7th grade went by and I began to settle into old habits. I joked around in class, drew, didn't pay attention, and again only managed to do the minimum to pass with a D or C. My 5th and 6th period teachers were the worst that year. The English teacher still yelled and gave weak lessons and my 6th period science teacher was an arrogant power hungry jerk. He would constantly stop class to yell at certain students including me to copy the notes, pay attention, and at one point he even checked my pockets to take away my Tech Deck which was a popular small toy skateboard kids played with their fingers.
After I finished 7th grade 8th grade at the same Middle school was a little easier socially at least. Classes were still hard, I had to take a 7th period at one point because I needed extra help in Math.
Finally 9th grade and Herbert Hoover High school comes into the story. 9th grade I had problems yet again with my English teacher. Now, I would spell his name if I remembered what it was or how to spell it but the truth is I did not take him seriously and didn't care about him. Even when I had him yet again for 10th grade English I did not care. One memory I had in that class was being so bored that I put my head down and started sleeping. He then told the person next to me to get me up and when I did the piece of paper on my desk was stuck to my head. Of course he got mad and made me sit outside.
So now 11th grade came and I had a new English teacher. His name was Mr. Mejia. He was the first English teacher who actually looked cool being a teacher. He was Latino, dark skinned, and kept himself very composed and proud which served a purpose to have kids respect him. And it worked great because that was one of the few classes I took very seriously that year. He had a name tag on his desk that said "The Peoples Teacher" which I thought was very interesting and funny. He always brought up issues about caring, about the reason behind certain events and celebrations that need to be taken back to their roots such as the Armenian Genocide and how kids shouldn't look at it as a free day but as a day to fight for justice; school pride and how pride doesn't mean fighting and vandalizing with other schools; and even Halloween how now it is a time to dress like something ridiculous instead of like a ghost, or zombie, or witch like when it was called All Hallows Eve. He was not just an English teacher he taught me to put value to certain things and stick to your identity especially when we read and discussed 'The Catcher and the Rye'. He explained it so well that it is still one of my favorite books. This was the beginning of a transformation within.
12th grade (the year of track running)-
This year everything started becoming important. If I had not seen it before, I knew now that my past was going to effect my chances to make something with my life. I had always said I'll just join the Air Force and be a pilot, but during last year 11th grade I had to get glasses. So now my future was dark and empty. What was I going to do after I graduate? I did not want to be average anymore. I did not want to have a meaningless job at a restaurant or grocery store.
Luckily, this was the year I had Mrs. Vargas. This was her first year becoming a true teacher on her own. We read the book 'Heart of Darkness', we went over issues such as if it is humane to clone people, or have an abortion. We wrote many essays, some of which I put little effort into. But many which I actually cared for and felt interested in. One major essay we did was turned in to college essay graders that would give us a grade out of thirty points. I was excited and nervous at the same time. I was excited because I felt that I had improved so so much during her class, but also nervous because college was the next step I wanted to take at this point and if I failed this "pre-test" I would feel like I would not last in college. However, the grades came back 2 weeks later and everyone was anxious. She said many of us did very well, but some needed lots of improvement. She mentioned that two people got 27 points and one got 30. When I got my paper back I saw 27/30. I was so happy. I wanted to brag to everyone. I thought I wouldn't care who got the 30 but it ended up being a football player who I always thought was a joker also. I looked at him and was thinking, "How the heck did he get the highest grade?" I began realizing that writing wasn't just for the gifted or "smart" crowd. It was an easy process that once you have your ideas in order and working together, you just have to fluff it up and write it down.
Mrs. Vargas taught me how to write after 10 years of horrible experiences and 1 year with Mr. Mejia who showed the value of writing. I can honestly say that if it were not for Mrs. Vargas I don't think I would have EVER chosen my current path.
By this point I had completed my college applications and taken the SAT and due to A.V.I.D. I had to apply to at least 4 UC's and 4 Cal State Universities and decided to go as Undeclared Major.
Every single time a letter came from one of the 8 colleges I applied to I would feel an empty feeling in my stomach. I would get scared and take the letter alone in my room away from my mom in order to open it. "Thank you for applying to our University but we regret to...." There goes my hope. Letter after letter I would read the same words until, "Dear Steve Perez we are happy to send you a letter of acceptance to San Jose State University...". I could not believe my eyes. I had to read it over and over and then all the way down the page two times before I finally told my mom. I was so happy. I could finally start looking forward to something after high school. And then two weeks later, "Dear Steve Perez we are happy to inform you that you have been accepted into Cal Poly Pomona". YES!! 2/8 is not bad. I was feeling happier than ever.
Fast forward to the Summer after high school graduation.
I took my orientation at Cal Poly Pomona and realized Mrs. Vargas' class didn't just help me get accepted into college, it made me feel completely different about school. In fact I think I will enjoy school from now on. This feeling lead to telling my advisor that I wanted to be a teacher. I could not believe the words coming out of my mouth. Mrs. Vargas made learning fun, she made it easy, she made me feel rewarded for my hard work, and most of all, she treated me with respect and kindness. I remember one day I was feeling really depressed and down that I just came to class and put my head down. She knew I was usually very happy and laughing with my friends most of the days so she didn't react like my previous teachers and yell at me to wake up. She asked me with a kind and soft voice, "Steve, are you okay? ...What's wrong?... Do you want to go out for a walk for some time? You can take a friend." And that is exactly what I did. I took my friend Jessica with me to walk around campus we found a tennis ball and played catch for a couple minutes and I felt better. But overall, I felt relaxed and ready to go back to class and focus. When I came back to class she asked, "Feeling better?" I replied with a small smile and a nod.
She was the nicest teacher I had ever had in that point of my life. She changed my entire view on teachers not just by making me excited over writing a good essay but by caring as a person for me and making sure I would be okay and comfortable to be in class. This led to me beginning my path in becoming a teacher. The very same path that 5 years later and 3 weeks from now, I will hold my Bachelors Degree in my hand as a graduate of Cal Poly Pomona University. High School was the end of my hopeless self, the end of not caring about school, the end of a magical year in cross country/track running, the end of thinking of English class, school and teachers as torture. It lead to the beginning of me becoming an aspiring Track Coach and caring School Teacher. And the best part is, it will lead to an even greater new beginning.
I had always been an active child, running around, playing basketball, throwing a baseball around, or in other words I was the skinny kid that was able to do what was considered athletic skills. There is even a video of a 5 year old me running as fast as I possibly can down a hill without tripping and beating my older brother. I remember in 4th grade challenging my friends to sprint to one base and back, and two years later in 6th grade being tested for the mile run getting a 6:36 time that gave me a B+ only 6 seconds from an A which I could have easily gotten if I had not stopped to tie my shoe lace. But none of these previous events challenged me the way joining that running team did. It focused my inner strength and molded my talents so that I can be what I was capable of. That single year lit an ember inside me that caught fire and still burns bright and hot to this day. This passion to run, stay physically active, and to coach one day is because of that one magical year that ended 5 years ago. Everything fell into place perfectly: the decision to attend the first day, the jealousy, the first mistake in my first race, the hip injury, my team calling on me at the end, and my pact with Wilson to go out with a BANG our last year in Track. I still talk to almost everyone on that team to this date because it continues to be one of the most important endings in my life which led to one of the most exciting beginnings as an aspiring coach.
Academically the story is filled with more downs then ups. Today I am 3 weeks away from graduating from Cal Poly Pomona University. But if you asked me 6 years ago what I was going to do with my life I would not be describing a bright future as a college graduate.
During elementary school I was jinxed with one bad teacher after another with kindergarten being the exception. The challenge in Kindergarten was that I was a English Language Learner. I was at a home with Spanish speaking parents put into a classroom with lessons and activities in English. During my second year I remember constantly being called a "Slowpoke" by the teacher because I never finished my work fast enough and felt embarrassed and helpless. Then, my 3rd grade teacher would literally just sit in her chair and ask a student to give her a massage as she talked about her own problems. She would later quit or retire and we had a substitute teacher for the rest of the year. On the very first day of my 4th grade class I sat at the front of the rug with my legs crossed and as the teacher walked by she tripped on my shoe and immediately said "How dare you! Did you just try and trip me?" I was so shocked and scared I just shook my head and said nothing. Later that year my mom would come in and the teacher would explain that I was distracted to easily and would wonder the class room. 5th grade I was put into a pretty good class with decent teachers but I had already fallen far behind the previous 4 years that I had to cheat during spelling tests and settle for the minimum.
After I graduated Elementary I was excited to go to Irving Middle School with all my friends. But I had no idea just how the teachers would be there. 6th grade was probably my worst experience academically. my 1st, 2nd, and 4th period teacher was the same man. He was a complete ass hole. If you asked me then I would have said it and if you ask me today I will say it again. That is not to say that I was a perfect student or even average student. I was a flat out bad D-F grade student. I was the class clown, joke, and funny guy. I would constantly cause people to laugh and disturb the class. He would stare me down, yell at me, and give me automatic zero's in class work. One moment I remember perfectly to this day was when we had to line up outside to go to an assembly. We all went and waited and I was talking loud, out of line, and having fun when suddenly he came right next to me and yelled inches away from my ear. If I had not hated him before then I definitely hated him now. After he was done yelling, being the smart ass punk rebel kid I was I said, "You know I can sue you for that." Thinking back now I think I definitely should have. I was too scared to tell my parents that he did that because they would say I caused it. But really, he could and should have been fired for something like that. So as you can tell I had slowly been shaped into a school hating student taught nothing more than how to lie to my parents and how to do just enough to pass.
Well my mom being the good caring parent she was, saw this happening and switched schools after 6th grade. Also what I failed to mention was how after 3rd grade I had been taking Summer School to catch up or make up grades after falling behind. My mother knew it was best to waste 3 months of summer instead of one year of school but it would also add to me hating school and looking at it as a punishment.
So 7th grade was going to be completely different. It was at Toll Middle School in Glendale and I knew absolutely no one from their. Actually that was a lie, I knew one friend from my boy scout group but he would not be in any of my classes. My first week in 7th grade was very intimidating. I had no one to talk to, no one to tell jokes, no one to have lunch with, and no where to play. However, it did not last, one guy would ask me where I was from and that just let me become more and more comfortable to be the joker I was.
However, something else also happened. During the first week of 7th grade I was classified as an English Second Language learner and put in remedial English. I automatically felt strange, like I had already failed being an average 7th grade student. Why and how was I placed here? After that week I began seeing it as a good thing. Man this work is easy! I can get an A here easily. I turned in our first assignment and the next day the teacher pulled me aside. "Did you cheat?" she said to me. "What? No. I didn't cheat. What do you mean?" I replied. She asked "Did anyone help you write this?" I said, "No I wrote it by myself." She then asked, "You used the word 'whom'. Do you know what that means?" I told her, "Ya it is the proper way of saying 'who', like when a butler answers the phone and says, 'Whom would you like to speak to?'" She looked at me and said "Okay. You can go back inside."
Little did I know that that single word would change the rest of my life. You see, the next day I got a new class schedule that placed me in regular English classes. If I had not written 'whom' on my paper I could have stayed in remedial English for that year, and the year after that, and probably all the way up to High School where I would have never had a fighting chance to be accepted into a University or take regular English.
So 7th grade went by and I began to settle into old habits. I joked around in class, drew, didn't pay attention, and again only managed to do the minimum to pass with a D or C. My 5th and 6th period teachers were the worst that year. The English teacher still yelled and gave weak lessons and my 6th period science teacher was an arrogant power hungry jerk. He would constantly stop class to yell at certain students including me to copy the notes, pay attention, and at one point he even checked my pockets to take away my Tech Deck which was a popular small toy skateboard kids played with their fingers.
After I finished 7th grade 8th grade at the same Middle school was a little easier socially at least. Classes were still hard, I had to take a 7th period at one point because I needed extra help in Math.
Finally 9th grade and Herbert Hoover High school comes into the story. 9th grade I had problems yet again with my English teacher. Now, I would spell his name if I remembered what it was or how to spell it but the truth is I did not take him seriously and didn't care about him. Even when I had him yet again for 10th grade English I did not care. One memory I had in that class was being so bored that I put my head down and started sleeping. He then told the person next to me to get me up and when I did the piece of paper on my desk was stuck to my head. Of course he got mad and made me sit outside.
So now 11th grade came and I had a new English teacher. His name was Mr. Mejia. He was the first English teacher who actually looked cool being a teacher. He was Latino, dark skinned, and kept himself very composed and proud which served a purpose to have kids respect him. And it worked great because that was one of the few classes I took very seriously that year. He had a name tag on his desk that said "The Peoples Teacher" which I thought was very interesting and funny. He always brought up issues about caring, about the reason behind certain events and celebrations that need to be taken back to their roots such as the Armenian Genocide and how kids shouldn't look at it as a free day but as a day to fight for justice; school pride and how pride doesn't mean fighting and vandalizing with other schools; and even Halloween how now it is a time to dress like something ridiculous instead of like a ghost, or zombie, or witch like when it was called All Hallows Eve. He was not just an English teacher he taught me to put value to certain things and stick to your identity especially when we read and discussed 'The Catcher and the Rye'. He explained it so well that it is still one of my favorite books. This was the beginning of a transformation within.
12th grade (the year of track running)-
This year everything started becoming important. If I had not seen it before, I knew now that my past was going to effect my chances to make something with my life. I had always said I'll just join the Air Force and be a pilot, but during last year 11th grade I had to get glasses. So now my future was dark and empty. What was I going to do after I graduate? I did not want to be average anymore. I did not want to have a meaningless job at a restaurant or grocery store.
Luckily, this was the year I had Mrs. Vargas. This was her first year becoming a true teacher on her own. We read the book 'Heart of Darkness', we went over issues such as if it is humane to clone people, or have an abortion. We wrote many essays, some of which I put little effort into. But many which I actually cared for and felt interested in. One major essay we did was turned in to college essay graders that would give us a grade out of thirty points. I was excited and nervous at the same time. I was excited because I felt that I had improved so so much during her class, but also nervous because college was the next step I wanted to take at this point and if I failed this "pre-test" I would feel like I would not last in college. However, the grades came back 2 weeks later and everyone was anxious. She said many of us did very well, but some needed lots of improvement. She mentioned that two people got 27 points and one got 30. When I got my paper back I saw 27/30. I was so happy. I wanted to brag to everyone. I thought I wouldn't care who got the 30 but it ended up being a football player who I always thought was a joker also. I looked at him and was thinking, "How the heck did he get the highest grade?" I began realizing that writing wasn't just for the gifted or "smart" crowd. It was an easy process that once you have your ideas in order and working together, you just have to fluff it up and write it down.
Mrs. Vargas taught me how to write after 10 years of horrible experiences and 1 year with Mr. Mejia who showed the value of writing. I can honestly say that if it were not for Mrs. Vargas I don't think I would have EVER chosen my current path.
By this point I had completed my college applications and taken the SAT and due to A.V.I.D. I had to apply to at least 4 UC's and 4 Cal State Universities and decided to go as Undeclared Major.
Every single time a letter came from one of the 8 colleges I applied to I would feel an empty feeling in my stomach. I would get scared and take the letter alone in my room away from my mom in order to open it. "Thank you for applying to our University but we regret to...." There goes my hope. Letter after letter I would read the same words until, "Dear Steve Perez we are happy to send you a letter of acceptance to San Jose State University...". I could not believe my eyes. I had to read it over and over and then all the way down the page two times before I finally told my mom. I was so happy. I could finally start looking forward to something after high school. And then two weeks later, "Dear Steve Perez we are happy to inform you that you have been accepted into Cal Poly Pomona". YES!! 2/8 is not bad. I was feeling happier than ever.
Fast forward to the Summer after high school graduation.
I took my orientation at Cal Poly Pomona and realized Mrs. Vargas' class didn't just help me get accepted into college, it made me feel completely different about school. In fact I think I will enjoy school from now on. This feeling lead to telling my advisor that I wanted to be a teacher. I could not believe the words coming out of my mouth. Mrs. Vargas made learning fun, she made it easy, she made me feel rewarded for my hard work, and most of all, she treated me with respect and kindness. I remember one day I was feeling really depressed and down that I just came to class and put my head down. She knew I was usually very happy and laughing with my friends most of the days so she didn't react like my previous teachers and yell at me to wake up. She asked me with a kind and soft voice, "Steve, are you okay? ...What's wrong?... Do you want to go out for a walk for some time? You can take a friend." And that is exactly what I did. I took my friend Jessica with me to walk around campus we found a tennis ball and played catch for a couple minutes and I felt better. But overall, I felt relaxed and ready to go back to class and focus. When I came back to class she asked, "Feeling better?" I replied with a small smile and a nod.
She was the nicest teacher I had ever had in that point of my life. She changed my entire view on teachers not just by making me excited over writing a good essay but by caring as a person for me and making sure I would be okay and comfortable to be in class. This led to me beginning my path in becoming a teacher. The very same path that 5 years later and 3 weeks from now, I will hold my Bachelors Degree in my hand as a graduate of Cal Poly Pomona University. High School was the end of my hopeless self, the end of not caring about school, the end of a magical year in cross country/track running, the end of thinking of English class, school and teachers as torture. It lead to the beginning of me becoming an aspiring Track Coach and caring School Teacher. And the best part is, it will lead to an even greater new beginning.
Importance of having an Entertaining Hobby
As much as I have talked about getting work done whether it is being in school or preparing to have a career in teaching, I can not stress the importance of also having a Hobby outside of the profession. I have made it clear that I want to become a teacher and that I have a passion to change the lives of children as well as a passion to one day coach Track and Field and as great, successful, rewarding, and passionate I may be towards my job, having an outside hobby will make life much more enjoyable as an individual person. Thomas A. Edison's quote, "I never did a day's work in my life. It was all fun" maybe the pinnacle of human passion and a career working as one body possessed. However, as much as I am excited to put my life into teaching, I do not want to give up living my own happy and joyful life. This may seem as if I am not fully committed but I would argue back that I am fully committed in living and enjoying the life I was given while still contributing to the world. It may seem selfish to some but it could also be selfish if I did not make as much of my life as I could be taking delight in subjects outside of teaching.
For me, personal escapes are enjoying the beauty of nature by hiking or camping, going running outdoors, watching or playing basketball, spending time with my family, and being with my girlfriend. These are the pure enjoyments I have in life that require little to no effort and give me a roller coaster emotional thrill. I have always been an artist at heart and nothing is more creative and artful to me than enjoying life with all it's little random and meaningless actions in comparison to working to better and change the lives of others.
Even though as a teacher I will be committing a large portion of my free time or off the clock hours to school by grading assignments, preparing lessons, and reflecting on the day's lessons there should always be "Me Time".
Even though as a teacher I will be committing a large portion of my free time or off the clock hours to school by grading assignments, preparing lessons, and reflecting on the day's lessons there should always be "Me Time".
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Working Enthusiastically
"Always think of what is important in life, to me there are three things; Where you started?; Where you are?; and Where you are going to be?"...
"How do you go from where you are to where you wanna be? And I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life. You have to have a dream, a goal. And you have to be willing to work for it"(And I think now a days people forget that they have to have the willingness, that eagerness to work for what they want. Because things aren't given to you anymore.)
Jimmy Valvano , College Basketball Hall of Fame Coach.
How do I even begin writing about this great quote from an amazing man? I can't explain it any better than how he has done so already. Although I did add the part in parentheses, I can not word it any clearer and effective than is already written. Perhaps what I can explain are the various moments in my life that portray Jimmy's message the best. You have already read about two of those moments; Cross Country/Track&Field running and becoming MVP in my single year; and becoming excited about writing essays which lead to working harder to get into a University.
The first half of Jimmy Valvano's quote begins with the start: Where I started my path, adventure, or process. I already revealed that I was an average/below average student from Elementary school up to 10th grade High School and I constantly reflect on that everyday. It doesn't make me embarrassed or ashamed, in fact I am very proud of where I am from and how I began my academic process/progress. I believe that we should always be very aware of where we started our life even if it does bring back horrible, sad, hurtful, or regretful memories. However, while we reflect on ourselves we should always be diligent to seek our future goals. As I mentioned in the previous post I am currently 3 weeks away from graduating with a Bachelors Degree in Liberal Studies to become an Elementary School teacher and frequently use my past experiences to see how I can prepare myself to become an effective teacher. Although there may be smarter Liberal Studies students than me that have already worked with kids as a substitute or tutor, I am glad that I have the past knowledge and experience as an "at risk student" that will allow me to understand my students better. I may have had a rough start to my education, but I was able to change my mind set to begin working towards a new goal, graduate high school, and eventually find my path on becoming a teacher.
Where I am:
It's hard to realize I have grown so much over the last 5 years. I have learned many new things, I have matured, and I have certainly grown to appreciate the smaller things in life as well as finding new value in others. To describe where I am today would be just like saying I am on the verge of a new beginning. I am overwhelmed with joy that I made the decision 5 years ago to become a teacher and excited to be even closer when graduation day comes. I will still have a couple of courses, tests, presentations, and programs to go through which include the Credential Program and possibly the Masters program. But I am still aware that my overall goal will be much closer to being met. I believe I have worked very hard towards my goal and the fact that I am still in college I think is a testament to my hard work. Unlike one of my classmates last year who has not found his college experience and classes worthy of growth or teachings, I have always been enthusiastic and eager to enter a new class excited to learn new ways or reinforce others that will help me teach kids more effectively. I can not comment too much on my classmate's experience that he has not learned anything new while in the Liberal Studies major, but to me it sounds like a lack of enthusiasm he has to achieve the goal of graduating. Although he is a very smart and talent man that works with highs school students in a robotics class, his main goal may not be to learn new ways of teaching and understanding his students, but perhaps to merely get his teaching credentials so he can become a full time teacher and begin a career. And I believe this is an example of the willingness and eagerness one needs to work for your dreams and goals because he may be enthusiastic about teaching robotics, but has not realized he must be eager to do the hard work in between to get from where he is to where he wants to be.
Where do you want to be?
I was asked this question by a professor about 3 months ago during class and I found my answer from another amazing basketball coach, John Wooden. After I am done teaching and coaching, I would like to think that I had an impact on my students lives not just through academics and sports but overall as a person. I would love to model my life after John Wooden''s and have an open door policy where anyone can just come by, sit down and talk about anything the want to and hopefully I can give them some guidance, helpful words or ideas, and continue to be a role model to the community. You see, for me teaching has never been about learning the multiplication, history, sciences, or anything found in school books: It has always been about helping students find the best person they can become and be happy with where they are and will go while making it as easy for them as possible. I don't want to teach the student: I want to teach the person, the child to find their purpose in life and be happy. I can only share my opinions and experiences and my initial experience as a student was mostly horrible, but it only took one teacher to turn the light bulb on and get me to realize the power of success that can change a student as lost as me to find a fulfilling direction. This is what will make teaching satisfying for me. Being able to connect with kids at a deeper level than purely academic. Of course I will work as hard as I can to make lesson plans exciting, engaging and enlightening, but success will never be measures in grades for me: Success will be when the student can identify their goal in life, and find themselves moving towards it with as many tools I can provide them with and be enthusiastic about it. Their goal in life will not be given to them, they will have to hammer, chisel, and smoothen the road by themselves and be proud of their hard work that got them from where they started to where they are going.
"How do you go from where you are to where you wanna be? And I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life. You have to have a dream, a goal. And you have to be willing to work for it"(And I think now a days people forget that they have to have the willingness, that eagerness to work for what they want. Because things aren't given to you anymore.)
Jimmy Valvano , College Basketball Hall of Fame Coach.
How do I even begin writing about this great quote from an amazing man? I can't explain it any better than how he has done so already. Although I did add the part in parentheses, I can not word it any clearer and effective than is already written. Perhaps what I can explain are the various moments in my life that portray Jimmy's message the best. You have already read about two of those moments; Cross Country/Track&Field running and becoming MVP in my single year; and becoming excited about writing essays which lead to working harder to get into a University.
The first half of Jimmy Valvano's quote begins with the start: Where I started my path, adventure, or process. I already revealed that I was an average/below average student from Elementary school up to 10th grade High School and I constantly reflect on that everyday. It doesn't make me embarrassed or ashamed, in fact I am very proud of where I am from and how I began my academic process/progress. I believe that we should always be very aware of where we started our life even if it does bring back horrible, sad, hurtful, or regretful memories. However, while we reflect on ourselves we should always be diligent to seek our future goals. As I mentioned in the previous post I am currently 3 weeks away from graduating with a Bachelors Degree in Liberal Studies to become an Elementary School teacher and frequently use my past experiences to see how I can prepare myself to become an effective teacher. Although there may be smarter Liberal Studies students than me that have already worked with kids as a substitute or tutor, I am glad that I have the past knowledge and experience as an "at risk student" that will allow me to understand my students better. I may have had a rough start to my education, but I was able to change my mind set to begin working towards a new goal, graduate high school, and eventually find my path on becoming a teacher.
Where I am:
It's hard to realize I have grown so much over the last 5 years. I have learned many new things, I have matured, and I have certainly grown to appreciate the smaller things in life as well as finding new value in others. To describe where I am today would be just like saying I am on the verge of a new beginning. I am overwhelmed with joy that I made the decision 5 years ago to become a teacher and excited to be even closer when graduation day comes. I will still have a couple of courses, tests, presentations, and programs to go through which include the Credential Program and possibly the Masters program. But I am still aware that my overall goal will be much closer to being met. I believe I have worked very hard towards my goal and the fact that I am still in college I think is a testament to my hard work. Unlike one of my classmates last year who has not found his college experience and classes worthy of growth or teachings, I have always been enthusiastic and eager to enter a new class excited to learn new ways or reinforce others that will help me teach kids more effectively. I can not comment too much on my classmate's experience that he has not learned anything new while in the Liberal Studies major, but to me it sounds like a lack of enthusiasm he has to achieve the goal of graduating. Although he is a very smart and talent man that works with highs school students in a robotics class, his main goal may not be to learn new ways of teaching and understanding his students, but perhaps to merely get his teaching credentials so he can become a full time teacher and begin a career. And I believe this is an example of the willingness and eagerness one needs to work for your dreams and goals because he may be enthusiastic about teaching robotics, but has not realized he must be eager to do the hard work in between to get from where he is to where he wants to be.
Where do you want to be?
I was asked this question by a professor about 3 months ago during class and I found my answer from another amazing basketball coach, John Wooden. After I am done teaching and coaching, I would like to think that I had an impact on my students lives not just through academics and sports but overall as a person. I would love to model my life after John Wooden''s and have an open door policy where anyone can just come by, sit down and talk about anything the want to and hopefully I can give them some guidance, helpful words or ideas, and continue to be a role model to the community. You see, for me teaching has never been about learning the multiplication, history, sciences, or anything found in school books: It has always been about helping students find the best person they can become and be happy with where they are and will go while making it as easy for them as possible. I don't want to teach the student: I want to teach the person, the child to find their purpose in life and be happy. I can only share my opinions and experiences and my initial experience as a student was mostly horrible, but it only took one teacher to turn the light bulb on and get me to realize the power of success that can change a student as lost as me to find a fulfilling direction. This is what will make teaching satisfying for me. Being able to connect with kids at a deeper level than purely academic. Of course I will work as hard as I can to make lesson plans exciting, engaging and enlightening, but success will never be measures in grades for me: Success will be when the student can identify their goal in life, and find themselves moving towards it with as many tools I can provide them with and be enthusiastic about it. Their goal in life will not be given to them, they will have to hammer, chisel, and smoothen the road by themselves and be proud of their hard work that got them from where they started to where they are going.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)